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kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 months ago

Thats fair

sh.itjust.works

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Thats fair

sh.itjust.works

kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 months ago
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  • Definetely weird.@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 months ago

    Skeletal structure.

    This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.

  • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Upgrade my butt. Poot existential dread instead of regular feces.

    • bampop@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I used to think that if I could have a superpower I’d like to be able to take a big rancid shit at will, but open up a portal so it would arrive in the pants of a person of my choosing. But these days, what’s the point? Most world leaders could be absolutely destroyed by a well timed beer dump, but Trump probably wouldn’t even notice it wasn’t his.

    • FurryMemesAccount@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      It definitely didn’t end the way I expected

  • gimsy@feddit.it
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    2 months ago

    One of:

    • eyes to see a wider spectrum of light (infrared to gamma-ray)
    • ears to increase sensitivity or reduce it close to 0 a will
    • nose to smell all dangerous stuff that is odourless (carbon monoxide f.e.)
    • muscles not to lose training after a few days (I am not sure that wouldn’t fuck up methabolism)
    • have an organ to catch radiowaves (while being capable to switch it off)
    • brown fat cells to never feel cold (with added super bonus that they also kill cancer by starving it)
    • liver to remove toxins without being easily damaged

    The choice is difficult :)

    • flying_sheep@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Brown fat cells would also make you burn more calories doing nothing

      • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        If you’re in a first world country and making a decent salary that just becomes a lower chance of obesity and diabetes

  • cally [he/they]@pawb.social
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    2 months ago

    Upgrade my eyes so I can sense different wavelengths of light at will. I would also make them very resistant to blindness.

  • BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.

    • moseschrute@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?

      • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence?

        Is there even a correlation?

        • moseschrute@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          Looked it up. Seems there happiness does not decrease with intelligence. I would have assumed the more intelligence you have the more capacity to understand and worry about problems you would have.

          • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Yea, but happiness is a weird thing. After live changing events, both positive and negative happiness is impacted for a while, but after a couple of months most people gravitate back to their default happiness level.

      • Huschke@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You could always downgrade your brain again after you’re done.

    • mechoman444@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you’re just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.

  • Quique@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Since when is a dick an organ?

    • Shape4985@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Reproductive organ

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.

    • toastmeister@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Is it a form problem?

  • C1pher@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Classic.

  • WereCat@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Deafinitly one of the choices

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.

    Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Everything else is perfect? You don’t have articulations?

      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        My joints are as good now as when I was 21, and they are supported by my broad range of glorious and balanced musculature.

        • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Doesn’t mean much if we don’t know your current age but joints in general are a weak point of the human anatomy

          • dutchkimble@lemy.lol
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            2 months ago

            Obviously 22

            • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Higher

          • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Skill issue.

            • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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              2 months ago

              Yeah, people need replacement knees and hips because of skill issues…

              • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                Cartilage loss and bone fractures regenerate as long as genetic integrity is maintained, that’s why it’s widely considered an age related disease. Self repairing telomeres would keep you from having most later in life joint failures.

                As for arthritis and general aches and pains, those are more common after the human body stops developing, usually in the late twenties and early thirties and progressing onwards. You can also contribute to these pains by misusing or overusing joints, such as tennis elbow.

                • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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                  2 months ago

                  So not a skill issue then.

      • Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Just an immortal pile of goo.

        • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          Goals.

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 months ago

      I wouldn’t be optimistic, something else may break

  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’d upgrade my balls so that they aren’t vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill’s purse and get away with it.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    All y’all are picking dick.

    But the correct answer is that balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.

    • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      that’s okay my homies can hook me up with a reload

    • Ebber@lemmings.world
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      2 months ago

      Careful with that, you probably wouldn’t want to end up in a StuG III Ausf B situation

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        rubbing a monkey’s paw

        Oh no! I didn’t realize I was asking for Nazi balls!

    • illegible@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 months ago

      How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!

    • 13igTyme@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Then you want to upgrade your prostate, not balls.

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You’ll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.

    • throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      balls

      Instructions Unclear, accidentally became leader of Ukraine.

  • Evotech@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Probably brain, responsetime

    Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick

    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      2 months ago

      I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept

    • Karjalan@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Good newss! If you use a massage gun pressed right to the base of your dick, it vibrates like a vibrator.

      Great trick if she’s on top, fun for everyone

  • felixwhynot@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Banger post. Deaf community goes hard

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      2 months ago

      Sorry, can’t hear you over my massive dong.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        I’m blind, but I feel you

  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne

    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      2 months ago

      From now on you’re french

      • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Merde!

        • Fillicia@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          And you can only pee in the champagne region of France.

          • memberberries@sopuli.xyz
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            2 months ago

            Otherwise it’s only called sparkling piss.

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