If a colleague asks me “Hi, how’re you doing?” it’s small talk and I’ll respond something like “Oh you know, the usual.” If my partner asks me “Hi, how was your day?” it’s a genuine question and I will respond “That fucking dickhead at work that always plays nice and personable came around with another set of “urgent” requests and no fucking clue what he’s actually asking for, whether it’s possible or why I told him last week it isn’t.”
The difference is in how serious I take the question.
I think that’s still small talk either way tho? The fact that you launch into some part of your day doesn’t change that it’s gauging your mood on her end. You could just as easily answered: “Snoozefest, how about your day?” or “Nightmarish headache from start to end, hold me”. See how these are all logical answers that would (I hope) evoke a different response from your partner?
I think so? Perhaps it’s small talk as long as it remains small. “Hi honey, what did you find out about the coefficient of friction in the graviton chamber after interviewing that nazi scientist, and does it mean we have to uproot our family and travel to a new country again?” is probably not small talk, unless it’s answered by, “oh, yeah, friction’s quite big, it’s all fine; can I have some toast?”
Is or is not talking about how your days went considered small talk? I literally don’t know now. I’d say it’s small talk.
Small talk is a way to gauge someone’s mood before going for the bigger discussions
If a colleague asks me “Hi, how’re you doing?” it’s small talk and I’ll respond something like “Oh you know, the usual.” If my partner asks me “Hi, how was your day?” it’s a genuine question and I will respond “That fucking dickhead at work that always plays nice and personable came around with another set of “urgent” requests and no fucking clue what he’s actually asking for, whether it’s possible or why I told him last week it isn’t.”
The difference is in how serious I take the question.
I think that’s still small talk either way tho? The fact that you launch into some part of your day doesn’t change that it’s gauging your mood on her end. You could just as easily answered: “Snoozefest, how about your day?” or “Nightmarish headache from start to end, hold me”. See how these are all logical answers that would (I hope) evoke a different response from your partner?
I think so? Perhaps it’s small talk as long as it remains small. “Hi honey, what did you find out about the coefficient of friction in the graviton chamber after interviewing that nazi scientist, and does it mean we have to uproot our family and travel to a new country again?” is probably not small talk, unless it’s answered by, “oh, yeah, friction’s quite big, it’s all fine; can I have some toast?”