I wish
c/agedlikemilk
POV: It didn’t happen
“WILL HAPPEN”
Spoiler alert: it’s already happened, and all the virtuous people already ascended to heaven.
My nipples are on fire. Send help. 😢
That explains why I’m still here.
I REFUSE to believe gahd has put me on par with Karen by leaving both of us on Earth! I demand to talk to his manager!
Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?
We should sell tickets.
Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
The past is the past, surely more letters will fit in the same space!
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Liar! Sinner! You should be raptured immediately!
I think the “good people” are the ones who get raptured, but I’m really not sure.
Don’t mix my apostate ass with those heretics
Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.
Better yet, if you get enough people to listen to you, start saying you’re Jesus.
totally not cult behavior
Post-Rapture looting anyone?
Why not Pre-Rapture looting?
Why do you think I still live in Texas?
I don’t know how to post gifs 😭
You have to post an external link to them, you can’t upload them.
They dont make it easy
If you already live in hell, nothing changes?
Everyone gets a new phone!
Woohoo!
nonsense, there are only 12 months
Not again
Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.
From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.
sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0
the lady in the red dress?
(snatch is a euphemism for vagina)
The rapture is when we all get vacuumed back up into Eve’s vagina, so it works.
Probably better than going back into Adam’s balls.
Phenomenal snatch.
What happens if you have a Sinful Thought during “The Great Snatch”? Do you get un-Snatched? What if you immediately Repent? Do you get Snatched again? Will there be people bouncing back and forth indefinitely?
Can we reschedule? I have plans tonight
What mental gymnastics do you think the sign maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?
This is someone who is clearly winded after light mental calisthenics.
Something about god’s holding out to see if Trump wins because he’s not sure wait hold on…
Mysterious Ways ™️
Jesus is having sex today.
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
“Read The Fisherman Matthew”?
Read the fucking moom
Ride turtles for money
Ready Tortellini Featuring Mushrooms