There’s always two group chats, one for everyone and one for the people you want to talk to. And if you think that doesn’t happen I have some bad news for you.
hah ! 😂
Are you ‘Derek’?
I really thought this was going to be a satire post about the Yemen bombing Signal chat group leak based off the reddit title.
There’s a lot of overlap with this and the leak.
Honestly I see correlation between this, the Trump Locker room talk, the Blizzard and Riot sexual harassment cases, etc.
It’s a good post though, relevant but not another post about the same damn thing lol
I don’t blame you, thought the same and already seen a few today.
I was inspired to post this story in light of recent events.
Thank you for your service.
same
edit: pawb.social user spotted
i was waiting for the guy to come out as an us official as the punchline
I sure hope Derek wears a cape.
Derek getting mad laid now.
If the contents of my friends’ group chat got leaked… people would just think we’re fucking idiots, not terrible people.
Good work, Derek. Be better, losers in that chat.
How do you know that?
Because they’re a fucking idiot, duh.
Easy, by having an inflated ego and a holier than thou attitude! 👍
I think that’s obtuse, comedy has no limits: As long as you don’t act upon uncomfortable / morally reprehensible ideas you joke about, you aren’t any worse or better than if you had never joked about it. I would argue that exposing a bunch of people for what they joke about with no evidence that they’ve actually done something wrong is far worse than joking about offensive subjects. (one has zero negative affects, the other has many)
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
Everyone on here is an insufferable twat.
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
My impression from the original post was that kind of stuff was what drove most of the fallout. Leaked off color memes aren’t going to ruin people’s relationships, but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
shit talk and leaking messages is pretty bad, but that’s really common these days unfortunately. I wonder how frequently texts like that are shared between female group chats. Depends on the person, and the group, but they are just more connected.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo. Commonality of occurrence certainly doesn’t make it any less wrongful. I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
i’m not saying it is, but from what i understand women tend to have a more cohesive social group, and tend to talk about things between them a lot more, so it would reason that there is a larger chance of stuff like this breaking out into that conversation.
Men just don’t really talk about their personal lives all that much. And when they do it’s usually shitposting.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo.
to be clear, i would generally agree with this, unless it’s understand to be venting/not seriously considered. It might be weird in the latter half, but it’s a lot less rude if it’s an inside joke specifically among a group of people.
I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
and to be fair, if we’re going full gender difference analysis, i think guys are a lot more likely to have a group chat like this, than women, so there’s that.
If the public got to hear first hand all the black humor that goes on in the EMS field, society might further collapse.
Keep in mind the source of this story. The author has every reason to describe the stuff on their group chat sound tame, so if it sounds bad, it’s probably 3 times worse than that.
derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
Derek is a decent person, so you don’t have to worry about that.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
weird that you mention sharing explicit photos, because that’s something that didn’t happen. If we’re to believe OP, that is.
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.
I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
It’s not hard to not be a shit person. That includes in private.
Derek did nothing wrong.
derek still did a shitty thing though. Regardless of how you look it.
I thought this was going to be satire about the Atlantic editor being accidentally included in war room group chats. Lol.
Wow. Derrick is a dirty pu–y. Screw you, Derrick, you don’t even know us. This is why no one likes you, Derrick.
Derek sounds like a real one. That poster lacks so much situational awareness they’d fall into an open manhole like in a cartoon.
Pete Hegseth, is that you?
It also feels like something Kavenaugh would have been into.
I would love for my 40k groups five year group chat to be leaked. My theories about Alpharius is valid I tell you.
Nononono, dont go! We haven’t even gotten to the part with Valdor, and the Emperor yet.
I want to hear it!
i wouldn’t have guessed that reading the comments of this would lead to blocking another lemmyworld user. it’s amazing how much better a conversation can be when you get rid of the actual shit
Best part about Shitposting honestly.
There’s the shitposters who post weird funny things and are here just having a laugh.
Then the awful mofos who think Shitposting means they can be their true selves and post offensive garbage under the guise of Shitposting. Then they get called out, get really offended/flip out because they didn’t realize.
It’s a great honey trap.
Violating someone’s privacy doesn’t suddenly become OK just because they’re a shitty person…
What a bad dichotomy.
It’s not the same as “violating someone’s privacy” because that implies that these people shared something deliberately with someone they trusted, that wasn’t the case, this was stupid people posting shitty, hateful, vindictive or exploitative material in a semi-open space and not being careful about who they invite in. Fuck them, they deserve this lesson.
True, but it is oh so satisfying when bad things happen to shitty people. Especially people finding out the true depth of their shitty. Even more satisfying when they complain about it.
If you find out that someone cheated on their wife, do you have to keep it private to protect the cheater’s “privacy”?
Maybe it’s better if that person’s wife knows the truth.
Obviously that’s different
I think it’s pretty comparable. The guys in the OP are getting mad at Derek but they’re the ones who said bad things in the first place. Their actions caused this. All Derek did was let people know the truth, and maybe it’s good when people know the truth.
Yikes, you really can’t see the difference between cheating on your partner and telling very inappropriate jokes?
In both cases you have a person doing something that many people would consider bad. Then this person gets mad when others find out about their behaviour. If you don’t want people to find out you did something, maybe just don’t do it in the first place.
Indeed, just like being a bad person is not fine if you keep your bad behavior private.
Things shitty people say when they get caught
Yes, those private texts should have stayed private
Agreed
I meant the ones they shared in the group, not their digital burn book
I know. I still agree.
“But it was private because I sent it to my 10 shitty friends!” 😭😭😭😭😭
Ah yes, “cocksucker” as the first insult to come to mind, the sign of a good person
what about it?
It implies that for a man, sucking cock (a legitimate sexual act for any gender) is an insult because that would make him gay. So Homophobic.
ok?
So what if i just argued that “cocksucker” just meant that you would suck someones cock if you got you something. I.E. you’re easily bribed/manipulated. As far as i know, that’s how most people use it.
That’s literally the implication like 99% of the time. If you wanted to insult someone for being gay, you would just call them a faggot or something lmao. No need to mince words at that point.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_(slang)#Cocksucker
Just learn a bit before bothering others with educating you. History matters, the way that this slur has been used historically and presently, is mostly homophobic.
Sorry for the short temper, this thread has been too long and I already explained this on another comment.
to be clear, the wiki page you explicitly linked literally say it has a historical connotation, and the primary example it lists is from checks notes 53 years ago.
I’m going to hazard a guess that the sentiment has probably changed, a little bit. Since 1972. 1972 to be clear, was 8 years after the passing of the civil rights act. It’s a bit of a different time period now.
anyway point is, i’m not convinced anybody cares about using this as a homophobic slur anymore.
Sorry for the short temper, this thread has been too long and I already explained this on another comment.
it’s whatever, that’s how the internet is lol. This thread has been more than amusing for me thus far.
Dam I thought it was just a thing boring white ppl say. Imma used that retort.
its because hes submissive. its a power thing not a gay thing
That’s still degrading to fellators.
And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.
its still at the end of the day giving pleasure to another. giving the key word: power thing. its the same atmosphere as bootlicker
If you think going down on someone is only a submissive act you haven’t gone down on someone long enough, or teased them enough.
thats not what i think im explaining the insult
Okay but like, in regular penis-in-vagina sex, the man is (theoretically) giving pleasure to the woman while also doing all the work. Is that still power play? Is pussyfucker the same as cocksucker?
pussyfucker isnt an insult ive ever heard but motherfucker is
cocksucker reminds me of the prison mentality of making someone your bitch so thats where im getting the power play from
i mean yeah, pussyfucker if you used as an insult would be quite a weird insult to throw, but it would work i suppose.
Motherfucker is also in the same vein like the other commenter suggested.
Being submissive in sex can be expressed in a blowjob, but so can being dominant. Most sexual acts can be either dominant or submissive under the right context. For example a person can forcibly (consensually) throw the other person down, pin them to the floor and start going down on them while not letting them orgasm. Is the person being overpowered and forced to be frustrate by not orgasming the one in power?
Your understanding of mutual respect and love is unhealthy if you compare going down on someone to bootlicking.
im comparing an insult to bootlicking. jesus christ you people really feel like arguing over absolutely nothing
So, if you were to replace ‘cocksucker’ with ‘towelhead’, slut, Yid, or Nig*** would that still just be a power thing?
Not that it actually makes a difference. This ‘power thing’ you refer to is controlling abuse for self interest. Introducing a predudice is just a way of trying to justify and/or hide the abuse.
im sorry are we equating cocksucker, and the n word to be on the same level of offensive slur?
find me people who suck cock that actually give a fuck about other people calling people cocksuckers and we can talk.
And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.
nobody is arguing that sucking cock is submissive??? The argument is that being a cocksucker is a submissive thing.
Or you trolling? Or are you actually serious?
He could have also said “vaginalicker” but he didn’t, he used a well known homophobic slur. Also, if he wanted to say submissive he could have used well known submissive insults.
literally nobody says vaginalicker though? that’s just not the commonly understood variant of “cocksucker”
Man, I love cocksuckers I’d get me one of those
imo the pejorative connotation of that word, and homophobia generally, is ultimately rooted in misogyny
Or you’re Swearingen from Deadwood. /s
I think I know where he got his name now
Why is “cuntlicker” not also a common insult? #equalrights
They should both be high compliments imo
I agree, you cocksucking cuntlicking fatherfucker.
I‘d say fatherfucker is still derogatory - after all, it’s still incest. Fatherhugger? Manhugger?
Well, I don’t think Motherfucker should be considered derogatory.
I don’t think incest is implied. Most fathers of 2 kids are Motherfuckers.
You are completely right
If there was a Olympics on it, I want to excel at cuntlicking.
@TO: would you like being recorded while drunk? This is pretty much the same.
Sounds like the solution is not to be a asshole while drunk? Or not be drunk? Or not be there to get recorded?
Nobody forced you to do anything and take responsibility for your own actions.
If you tend to behave a certain way when drunk that could make you incredibly embarrassed or have consequences in your life you don’t want… do you know what you should fucking do?
Not get drunk around others.
If you like sexist, racist or other kinds of humor and want to share it with friends who like the same things, you have to fucking accept that people might find out about it and share it with others. If you have anything in your life that you feel shame around, either learn to stop feeling shame about it, or stop sharing it. Those are your only options, acting like a potential victim about it makes you seem like a giant douche.
Look, humans are inherently social beings. In public, there’s some pressure to behave the “correct” way, present an image. In private spaces with friends, you don’t have that pressure, you can unwind and make the occasional silly joke. That guy, however, betrayed the trust they gave him and TO and you say that’s their fault, for being silly with someone they trusted.
Gonna share this again.
This commenter said it best:
To the people who think what OP did was completely normal and something everyone does, (and I hate to use this phrase) check the “ratio” here. Nobody thinks this is normal. You and OP are in the slim minority spewing vile shit about people in your lives. It’s cruel and childish. You’d be smart to learn from OP’s predicament before you find yourself in the exact same situation with everyone you know hating you because you thought it was perfectly normal to constantly trash talk them behind their back. It’s not normal. Not everyone is doing it. Assholes like OP and apparently yourself are doing it. And it clearly can bite you in the ass. As I said in my initial comment, these kinds of things can have serious real world consequences. So you may wanna wise up and start being a respectable human being ;)
It’s wild how many people feel entitled to just do or say whatever they want without repercussions, and then make themselves into victims when they do face those consequences.
This user above is obviously one of those who are bristling because they realize they are vulnerable to this exact thing… it’s very telling, the people who rage at the idea of having their “private” content leaked are always the ones with the worst private content.
Look, humans are inherently social beings. In public, there’s some pressure to behave the “correct” way, present an image.
None of this says anything to this discussion, none of this provides new context for this situation.
In private spaces with friends, you don’t have that pressure,
Fine, but that doesn’t take away the risk of something you and your shitty friends saying or doing getting out of your special, controlled space. And the very fact that you worry about containment should be some kind of warning that you’re risking trouble. That should be something that crosses your mind any time you share anything with anyone else, “trusted” scuzzy friend or not. You can’t control what other people say and do, you can’t expect even people you trust to not make mistakes, so again, the crux of it is you cannot share things that could potentially have negative consequences if brought to light. It’s on you. You should have taken more care with what you shared and who you shared it with.
I’m sorry if that hard life fact makes you feel potentially victimized by others or less capable of telling your raunchy jokes without pausing to make sure you’re not setting yourself up for problems, but that’s literally growing up. Yes, it sucks, it’s okay to be sad about it. Life isn’t carefree unless you actually don’t care.
the occasional silly joke
You have no idea what was shared here, you have no idea if your “silly jokes” might do a lot of harm if the wrong person sees them, so maybe you need to figure out what actually constitutes “silly” and understand your own sense of humor shouldn’t be a standard, because if you’re one of those people who say hurtful things, then blame others for being offended, that makes you a giant pile of steaming shit of a human being, the kind of person YOU would hate, and I don’t think you want to be that, so again, this is just a warning, not a condemnation. It’s very easy to become that which we would hate if the roles were switched.
That guy, however, betrayed the trust they gave him and TO and you say that’s their fault, for being silly with someone they trusted.
Your use of the word “silly” is doing so much heavy-lifting here I hope you’re paying it overtime.
And just because you extend trust, doesn’t mean you’re owed anything, doesn’t mean you extended that trust properly, if you just extend trust to just anyone you meet who you seem to like, when the consequences could get the whole internet talking about you, MAAAAYBE you’re bad at all of this.
Got it, you are just a pedantic.
Got it, you can’t read.
