Every time you breathe you hope people have not farted in your general direction.
Speak for yourself.
Smells like elderberries
I’m also trusting billions of freeloading foreigners (bacteria) to help digest the food in my intestinal tract and not go rogue or provoke cancer on a daily basis.
I feel it’s rude to call them freeloading, without them we wouldn’t be able to digest nearly as much food.
Calling them freeloading then going on to say in the same sentence that they help. Also I wouldn’t call them foreigners. Pretty sure they’re native
Funny we hug a line between mass acceptance that you don’t fuck with food and selfish behaviour around disease.
“Wear a hair net.”
“Of course.”
“Wear a mask.”
“Fuck you, let’s wreck the planet.”
“Wear a condom”
“Okay.”
“That’s a candy bar wrapper and a rubber band…”
“SAME CONCEPT ASHLEY!!! GOD!!!”
Damn it Archer!
The water you drink was once dinosaur pee.
And Hitlers cumshot, statistically speaking
Nah. Water is created and destroyed all the time. Here go the formula for photosynthesis:
6CO₂ + 6H₂O + light energy → C₆H₁₂O₆ + 6O₂
Take some baking soda for heart burn. You will instantly know you’ve created water and gas. (But hey, it works.)
NaHCO3 + HCl → NaCl + H2O + CO2
Anyone here burning glucose and breathing?
C6H12O6 + 6O2 → 6CO2 + 6H2O
JFC, here’s Google’s AI take, depsite the evidence above:
Water on Earth is constantly being transformed through a natural cycle, but it is not created or destroyed. This transformation, known as the Hydrological Cycle, involves processes like evaporation, condensation, precipitation, and runoff. While Earth has a vast amount of water, its total quantity has recently dropped, according to NASA.
If you want to shoot your brain full of rot, check out the answers on Quora.
Duuuuude you don’t have to tell me twice! I loooooove dinosaur piss!!! I love rubbing it all over my face and tongue.
Don’t read this before you head to a restaurant.
Can Kansas City’s Hereford House restaurants survive a food contamination scandal?
Alternatively, do read it if you’re having trouble cutting back on fast food spending!
Watched an employee of the local chicken shop tip a dead rat into the alley gutter recently. Not only didn’t they bag and bin it, just tipped it into the gutter out the back of the shop. It’s put me off the place, what other dodgy things aren’t I seeing?
My aunt claims to have heard tales of McDonald’s workers pisssing in the pickle jar
I’ve worked at Maccas. I’ve seen someone sneeze on a tray of half made cheese burgers they were holding, put the bun on and proceed to wrap them for service.
Wow. I bet it was pretty obvious the food tamperer was a fucked up moron at their interview. I would like to see the hiring manager prosecuted.
Have you worked in a restaurant? You ever drink a Slurpee?
Trust me, you’re alright eating plenty of things you wouldn’t do consciously. I’m trusting my immune system to be able to fight off whatever contaminants it finds more than the people in the whole line of farm to plate.
Your immune system doesn’t work against lead
Even commercial food processing, eg grain to flour, has acceptable contamination limits for things like rodent feces and even rodents and that limit isn’t zero.
Relatedly, never abuse your pizza delivery driver. He has unsupervised access to your food, and he knows where you live.
Welcome to anxiety
one of the ways that I get a paranoid schizophrenia patient to eat is by only giving them sealed foods. it generally means they’re living on junk food for a week or so, maybe a month, but to borrow a phrase from labor and delivery nursing “FED is best” (some people will tell you breastfeeding is the only healthy option for a baby but ultimately they gotta eat, so do what you gotta do). I also try to open and pour drinks in front of them, even if it’s a container I can’t give to them like a metal can.
Exception: Person who grows, hunts, or fishes their own food.
In that case, you’re trusting that the soil and water aren’t contaminated.
Any halfway decent farmer or gardener tests their soil and water. Good hunters check the entrails. It’s not as hard as you think.
That was a plot point in Fight Club
Farting on merangues.
Another reason “I’m a rugged individual don’t tell me what to do” people are absolute fools.
Benefitting from untold quantities of rules and regulations, thinking it’s all their personal merit, wanting to swing an axe at the branch they’re sitting on.
I’ve had people tell me that “the market” would solve the problem is people were selling tainted food. idiots.
I can’t think of a single time industry self regulation has ever resulted in a government not having to step in and level a petty fine to stop something from happening.
Such short memories.
The market gave us sawdust and chalk in bread. Regulation took it back out.
Right?? I’m like, didn’t you learn anything in high school history? But then I know that conservatives have been attacking education for decades, and a lot of people just kind of slept through school.
Let’s not forget the river fires!
Well personally I’m trusting the food inspector.
The FDA will allow like a whole cockroach to get blended into a jar of peanut butter before they even give a shit.
If you live in a developed country with some sort of food standards you are probably going to live just fine eating 99.99% of the things you see in a daily basis.
As for restaurant workers making mistakes… Yeah. If you’re the type of person who gets repulsed by your own hair falling into your food maybe avoid eating out. I have pulled someone else’s hair out of my food and kept eating. Shit happens and I already paid for the food. It would have to be like a bloody bandaid or something for me to actually send back food.
a developed country with some sort of food standards you are probably going to live just fine eating 99.99% of the things you see in a daily basis.
Soooo, America before they fired everyone?
Everyone should watch the movie Waiting at least once. And not just for the penis showing game.
But less if you don’t buy it from a restaurant, and even less if you don’t have Doordash drive it to you.
