Huh, you know maybe knowing the origin of the joke affects how I determine whether it’s derogatory or not?

I did not think about that, but looking back, seems like an easy pitfall.

Good point.

Honesty, I think it would be fairly easy to figure out.

If it is derogatory - homophobe.

If it points out an idiosyncracy, and makes fun of it - queer, or at least not homophobe.

In my experience, bgoted people make jokes that insult and/or demean those people they hate. It is not done primarily to be funny, but to hurt and demean. Making it funny just helps spread it around.