FriendOfDeSoto

That presupposes though that a shapeshifter would need to see their own reflection to judge the look. If you have developed over millennia the ability to change your appearance at a molecular level, or physically speaking thereabouts, you probably have developed the ability to judge the look without having to look at it. You would be a rock who knew how to become Michelangelo’s David.

I’d be amazed to hear that chameleons practice at a puddle before they try to blend in with the jungle. But I was sick a lot when they taught biology in school.

You have to consider a few things here. You’re not the only one with social anxiety at that event. Your reaction is not to go in the first place (my MO as well) or to sit quietly hoping it shall pass with haste. Others talk too much. School reunions are such a rich vein for neurosis because you’re guaranteed to be judged by your peers. Peers who knew you very well when you weren’t a more well put together person yet. Few people behave like themselves there. So if the woman says she cheated a million times lol, her neurons may be on the fritz as well because she’s more thinking about how she dunked Sharon’s head in the toilet in freshman year or whatever. And that memory is haunting. And she’s sitting just over there! WHY HASN’T SHE SAID ANYTHING? … So you need to have a salt shaker handy for anything you hear.

Also, some people like attention and will say anything to get it. People like to construct a public persona around their worst character traits, the ones they’re unable to change. It’s like they’re putting a cool leather jacket on, aviator shades too. To distract themselves from their inner monolog, which very well might be telling them what a piece of shit they are.

And cheating is common. In my social group I know of a handful of cases. Drunk and horny, sober and crushing - the motivations are on a scale. In some relationships these secrets never get revealed, in others they’ve made the bond stronger, others have broken up. I would say very few people brag about it but hey, we contain multitudes. Some people end up in an unhealthy game of hurt oneup(wo)manship. Relationships are hard fucking work.

It is also a different picture when you have children with your partner. The willingness to forgive infractions increases for the good of the children.

And while centuries of indoctrination of monogamy and loyalty to your spouse can make this hard to accept: some people make open relationships work. I think it’s more often than not the last stepping stone to disaster but if you can make it work, vaya con dios. I have a hard time with it but I’m trying not to judge.

None of this needs to change how you feel about cheating though.

Scale is the factor here. You could say that small places can benefit from a sort of benevolent authoritarianism. I’m thinking Singapore, Liechtenstein, Monaco. None of them are bigger than a postage stamp and the population will go along with it. The bigger the country, the more injustices authoritarianism accumulates, the harder it is to keep people in line, the more suppressive it becomes.

Ideally, democracy trumps everything. It is the only system that has the built-in power to cancel itself. It needs all the people to be aware and to participate accordingly. It’s not perfect. It’s not always fair either. But I’d rather live in a system that can decide to end itself than in a system that would try to end me if I wanted to be critical about it.

In terms of communism, as dreamt up by Marx and Engels, you can only turn a completely capitalist economy into a communist one. This has never been achieved, shortcuts have been taken. All communist states in existence have either turned authoritarian or to dust. So in my view, there aren’t many communist movements left in the world. They may use the word but either M&E wouldn’t like them or they don’t really have a lot of support behind them. No support, no money. Capitalists have a lot of money. People with a lot of money tend to have the ear of their leaders. If an investor is interested it’ll be real hard to go for an employee-owned model (excluding models with free publicly traded shares). If investors are not interested, the business may be failing and employee ownership is the last hurrah before the end. Capitalism tends to come up on top.

European-Americans

Why only those?

need better leadership role models to show them that education and hard work

Compulsory education in the US is straddled with numerous problems. Underfunding is maybe the biggest one. The fact that schools need to be converted into bullet proof bunkers doesn’t help. Standardized tests are not a foolproof way to assess people’s aptitudes. The curriculum in some states leaves a lot to be desired. A defective system cannot produce perfect students. And we’re not even talking about the insane for-profit higher education system that gives people debt for life. The system produces undereducated leadership role models. The good people tend to find other areas to work in. You cannot demand new role models without a complete, well-funded overhaul of the entire education system.

Hard work can be helpful to get ahead in life. But it’s no guarantor of success. It’s more luck or inherited wealth that get you ahead. You seem to adhere to the good old American dream idea, rags to riches stuff. It’s a mirage. Like the melting pot theory or manifest destiny it deserves to be deposited on the trash heap of history. There was probably more truth to the dream when rent/mortgage was a fifth of your average paycheck when it’s now most of your average paycheck. That is if you still have a home. Times have changed, ideas are still catching up.

— not violence, promiscuity, and criminality — are the right ways to get ahead.

Violence? Agreed. Crime? Also agreed. Promiscuity? You’d have to define that first. And I have an inkling I may not agree with you once you have.

Fundamentally, you could make a caveat even for violence and crime under certain circumstances. One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. To the Brits George Washington was a violent criminal. Violence is baked into the birth of a nation, along with the prolonged history of slavery and segregation.

I also think that former criminals can be valuable role models. It depends on many factors, e.g. have they paid what we call the debt to society? Have they atoned? Etc. But if I’m not mistaken you’re looking more at financial fraud and maybe sexual misconduct - don’t have a clue why those two popped up first in my head - and I would say that disqualifies perpetrators from being leadership role models. People who vote for people like that to get into positions of power anyway are a real thorn in my sight as well.

So I find bits of your statement that I can warm up to. Overall, I think it’s a bit populist for my taste. I disagree with some of the assumptions I think you’ve made. And it does nothing to address any underlying problems as I see them.

YMMV. There is no universal answer to this question. None of us separate the artist entirely from the work and thus our enjoyment of it. I think of it in video game terms. Every artist has a power bar. They can get hit a couple of times and can still be tolerated when they’re in the yellow. But once we’re in the red zone and the character starts getting translucent or is flashing I’m out. This is all very subjective though.

Marylin Manson went red for me and I scrubbed the songs I liked from my playlists. Michael Jackson also. But I continue to listen to The Smiths/Morrissey in spite of Morrissey’s politics. I still enjoy Pink Floyd although Walters and Gilmore are profoundly unlikable characters and Walter’s politics rub me the wrong way a lot of the time.

In the age of streaming, there isn’t a lot of money going to the artist. You’re not really supporting them financially if you enjoy their music in spite of any a-holery, moral or criminal, they may have committed. If you get something out of it, continue to do so. If it feels yucky then I’m gonna guess one more hit is putting the character in the red. And if you paid for the music/album, the “damage” is already done.

I’m glad I was never a big fan of Kanye’s œuvre so I don’t have to wrestle with this question about him. I think he would have done enough to drain his power bar thrice over and thus it’s game over for me. I wish he had more well meaning people around him who could help him to protect himself from himself.

As a general vibe in life, I try not to punch down. Antivax kids through no fault of their own are at a disadvantage in life (and make life for immunocompromised folks harder). Wondering if they’d be okay with a cootie shot as a question seems snarky and punching down to me.

You could not answer this question categorically anyway. It would depend on the age, how much autonomy they already have over their body, and to how much RFK junioring they’ve been subjected. So the answer is care and individual attention for each kid, not a generalization.

I don’t know where you get the idea I suggested we hunt them down from. But I think you’ve correctly picked up on my critical opinion on this question.

These kids have a bad enough lot in life by being born to and probably being negatively influenced by irresponsible parents. They probably deserve more care and individual attention than a throwaway question like this.

Were you dancing at the time?

I imagine it’s not as easy in terms of producing the template video to match your body type (and maybe agility) and then to set up the projection just at the right distance. Conventional wisdom might also say that you learn dance moves better by copying others and that’s why you get floor to ceiling mirrors in dance studios.

Bluesky is merely a stepping stone between Xwitter and Mastodon. Facebook can just die with them boomers.

Any other answer than professional therapy runs the risk of making it worse. But I know that it can be a luxury.

Out of sight hopefully leads to out of mind eventually. Actively avoiding these a-holes is one thing, having a good emergency plan when it can’t be avoided is another. I don’t know your life so you have to figure this one out yourself. In my experience, people that have a certain power over you in your mind immediately lose a lot of it if you imagine them naked, tickling the tip of their nose with a feather.

Are you reacting rationally when you’re confronted with them? If you can control yourself enough to imagine the nose tickling, start there and see how it goes. If you can’t get there and therapy is out of the question look for a fresh start somewhere else. Different part of the city, different city, different time zone. We are conditioned to think we mustn’t run from our problems, which isn’t bad advice but isn’t universally true IMO. There are cases where you’re allowed to just move away in the night, secretly flipping the old life off in the process. If after careful consideration going through all the pros and cons you arrive at this conclusion, don’t deny yourself this option for dogmatic reasons.

A therapist, after disagreeing with me, would probably add that you should make sure you don’t repeat past mistakes by creating new dependent relationships that could lead to new abuse. So keep that thought in the back of your head.

Why did she have to go and make things so … complicated?

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

Thank you for your eloquence.

Glad to hear it! I thought I heard a sigh of relief so massive it circled the world twice.

What you need is help, not AI. If paying a designer is out of the question, look for the most design savvy person in your family, friends, or in your neighborhood. Maybe you can comp them a meal in exchange for making this look good.

You can use AI image generators to make background images. Just check the licenses if you’re okay to use their stuff in a commercial setting. AI is still largely dog shit at handling real text in images. That’s why I wouldn’t recommend going this route for you here. You have a lot of text.

What do you want to do with your poster? Will this be used as a meme or will it actually go to a printer or be displayed on a high-res screen? If it’s just a meme thing, any image creator AI will do. Most of them have free options.

If this will actually go to a printer, you’ll need high resolution images and would do well to design it in a vector format, SVG for open source software: Inkscape is free to install on computers, vector-ink is a thing for mobile and the web as well. Adobe Illustrator for the corporate expensive route. Big file sizes work better on a good computer so YMMV.

I get why the feelings sucks. You’re in your head and somehow only the worst possible outcomes ruminate. You’ve called the cops, good on you.

You’re not in charge of the world, there ought to be others who are charged with taking care of that girl. Their failure in preventing her from showing up on your porch is not your fault either and she’s their responsibility, not yours. Keep repeating that in your head.

I’m not going to press you on an answer about your emotions if you don’t want to tell. You probably have it in you to change your behavior. If the bad touch response is frustrating you, there is probably a time span you can aim for in a shower that will be equally frustrating but without using the phone. Find that time.

Showers can be an incredibly wasteful way of washing. Finding ways to make them longer, especially on the reg, is something to consider avoiding.

What emotions are you having that cannot deal with 5-10 minutes of pure bodily hygiene focus?

You have unlocked the stylistic tool of the hyperbole.