No problem.
I’ll add one other thing: Others have mentioned couples therapy. This is a great idea. Even if the relationship is already over, worst case scenario is they both gain some insight into their own toxic behavioural patterns to make their next relationship better.
Wtf is this. I’m so confused.
I do think it would be more difficult ting if it was a sinister tetrahedron, the most evil of shapes.
“yes” is the most dangerous word in the English language.
No one teaches you how to have a relationship. So people just kind of default into patterns that are often toxic.
It’s why taking a step back and being deliberate about how to communicate is so important. There needs to be a shared understanding and deliberateness about how to intentionally communicate.
And it needs to be something that applies equally to everyone involved. No copouts, no special circumstances that only go one way, there need to be firm, hard rules with specific consequences that apply evenly to all involved that are arrived at communally, and not unilaterally.
It takes two to tango.
The defensive lashing out type stuff happens because he hasn’t established firm boundaries around it. And she’s probably lashing out about stuff because… Well. Doesn’t matter, really.
There need to be firm boundaries about how to have a discussion that apply evenly to both of them. Both of them need to buy into these rules. When the lines are crossed the discussion ends.
This isn’t about shutting down a discussion but having the awareness to recognize constructive versus destructive discussions.
Setting reasonable, adult boundaries and rules, sticking to them, and establishing that certain behaviours are problematic are the only way this gets better.
If she’s unable to recognize her own defensiven ss as a problem and work on it all of this falls apart but having the framework in place will allow transparency into the why of it.
My religion is “keep your religion dar the fuck away from me”.
I believe in freedom from religion even more strongly than of religion
The thing in this post about curiosity isn’t just a lemmy/online thing.
The vast majority of people are mainly interested in themselves. Like - if you have trouble on dates, making friends, getting along at work, anything to do with people in general - approaching them with a sense of sincere curiosity will completely change things overnight.
Get people to talk about themselves, be supportive in your discussions with them, and shut the fuck up wherever possible and suddenly you’re interesting, a good person, kind, whatever - traits you’ve done exactly fuck all to demonstrate, but that people will swear are true because you seem interested in them.
It’s fucking bonkers but it’s true. Curiosity can change your world.
I haven’t read any of this research because, like, the only feelings I have about pedophiles are outright contempt and a small amount of pity for the whole fucking destructive evilness of it all, but I’ve been told having access to drawings and images and whatnot makes people more likely to act on their impulses.
And like. I don’t think images of CSAM in any form, no matter how far removed they are from real people, actually contribute anything worthwhile st all yo the world, so like. I dunno.
Really couldn’t give two squirts of piss of about anything that makes a pedophiles life harder. Human garbage.
Happy to share google drive link to you priv1ately if you’d like.
We already do.
Its stupid easy, in fact.
Like. Total time of actual configuration for replacing all the faces and voices in the Empire Strikes back with my face and my voice was like 3 hours.
How do I make Canadian chatgpt?
Increasingly I feel like our only hope for the future is somehow achieving ASI and that it somehow is benevolent in spite of our numerous failings as a species and KT basically starts manipulating us or directly controlling us away from self destruction.
There are so many doomsday scenarios on the horizon that if it ends up being evil we may at least be able to take it down with us.
Because some of them, and their associated email accountsz hadn’t been used in years.
And there is nothing linking any of the emails / accounts except my.phone number.
Five email accounts, 20 odd reddit accounts. I’ve only used one account / email for the past year. And that’s from a PC / phone that were new around that time
I pirate literally everything.
I used yt-dlp and downloaded a shitload of old commercials once and I stick then in a random playlist to get the full TV effect. Never know what’ll be on.
From the bottom of my heart, to everyone involved in the production of any kind of media: I hope you fall face into a fifty deep wishing well full of human shit and erect dicks.
I agree with you on 1. I hope it never fucking changes. The worst thing that could happen is we get the critical mass of dipshits that turns every online service into a fucking shit tornado.
I was recently banned from reddit.
On all my accounts.
Across four email addresses.
Simultaneously.
Many of which haven’t been used in months. Years in some cases.
So - banned on one account linked to one address. Accounts linked to four other email addresses were banned. None of those accounts have been logged into from any device the account I got banned from was being used on.
The emails are linked to my phone number though.
So. Two steps ahead of you. But. They are either using some kind of NLP to identify the way I write. Or google is sharing that the accounts are linked to my phone number.
Anyway. Reddit can fuck right off. And I’ll be buying a burner phone with cash to make some accounts soon.
And if you are?
Well played. You win. This round.