Wait… So he takes his kid’s pants and makes the kid wear what, I assume, are the gift pants the kid made his father? That seems all sorts of mean.

Hit it.

This is absolutely spot on. Well done.

… Trump.

Wrong Leary. The devil’s talking about Timothy Leary, in this case.

A schooner IS a sailboat, stupid head!

Well, there goes that theory…

Was the “injured” guy’s name J. Walter Weatherman, by chance?