Well heck, that really is a much better retort. Well said.

Enjoy your sense of smug superiority, I guess…?

At the risk of sounding like the kind of edgelord I was calling out initially: Who?

No, seriously, that show was off the air before I was born. I only know what you’re talking about because of this cliche’d line, I’ve never seen the show or anything. Has there really not been anything in the 23 years since they bulldozed his neighborhood that is wholesome enough to guilt me with? Has society really stagnated that much? Is your sense of decorum only anchored by a largely forgotten children’s television show?

And we’re all very impressed.

They have a reputation for it, though I’m not sure if it’s entirely deserved. This article does a good job of explaining it and references the above meme

It’s probably a reference to how ridiculously, disproportionately violent waffle houses are known to get, and the timing is just coincidental.

Not amazed, just depressed.

Did I stutter? Protecting your family is protecting your family, now fetch the jumper cables and a lightning rod, we’ve got some identity theft to thwart.

I despise them as much as the next queer liberal but it isn’t just the vile boomers falling for this. Keep an eye on your grandparents, maybe sit down and explain the more common scams and tell them to call you if they get something weird. No banking info over phones, etc.

Season 3 - “Gamera”

It’s got everything you could want. Inexplicably awful children, space travel, a giant rocket powered turtle. My partner and I have been randomly shouting “Capsule!” at each other for many, many years because of that movie, confusing a great many family members in the process. Absolutely wonderful episode.

Not a communist, presumably

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You’re welcome. I think.

I’ve never needed a product this badly in my life. I have so many friends that compulsively pick up and fiddle with anything in my house that is not nailed down, this will be like catnip to them. Traumatic catnip. It will be my sweetest revenge.

So you… object to the idea of what you think the movies are like, to the point that you have no idea what they’re like?

… And that sounds reasonable to you?

Haven’t been thrown out of enough ambulances.

I get the impression you don’t think this was a good thing to have done, hence the interrogation?

Not very satisfying answers I’m afraid, they were probably 8-10 and I have no idea how we got onto the topic since this was 15+ years ago.

They were actually pretty grateful, feeling it had set them up for a lot of positive realizations down the line. We play D&D now and they’re working on their masters, so I guess they weren’t too badly scarred…

Hey, you look like cowny hawk

I had a former summer camp kid come up and credit me with having given them their “first existential crisis” (for explaining that when you die, “you just cease”) which I am proud of.