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Cake day: July 11th, 2023

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  • Sure, people might not care, but that doesn’t change the facts. Experts aren’t denying the legitimacy of the Panama or Paradise Papers, but they are saying that the idea of megacorporations secretly listening to your microphone and selling you products based on that is false. If they were doing that, it would be pretty easy to find out. Smartphones aren’t some mysterious black box; security engineers and hackers are constantly checking for these kinds of exploits. If corporations were actually spying on us through our phones, it would be the biggest topic at DEFCON. Believing that this could be kept secret would require assuming that all these experts are either paid off or in cahoots with the corporations, which veers into full-blown conspiracy theory territory.





  • Steve Harvey: “We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?”

    Contestant: “The penis”

    SH: “A WUH… HUH??” audience erupts into laughter Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself laughter gets even louder

    SH: O lordy… one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard

    SH: YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself

    SH: (putting on a weary voice) Survey says… the board shows 100 for “penis” Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end