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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: April 19th, 2025

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  • Ok for realsies since you guys were asking real questions lol. I’m a professional software engineer, ex-top-tech, my setup is extravagantly complex. It did take a few hundred hours but it includes 15TB of data hoard, roms, emus, dos and flash games, Plex media server for home usage, a dizzying array of decades old software I’ve written in dozens of languages, very old obscure deprecated media formats like GMAX, a syncing script to keep it all organized and backed up with encrypted and chunked pCloud/local clones (20 rclone commands). Custom optical disc backup scripts and paper barcode storage because I’m also into cryonics. 50ish cryptocurrencies. Many online financial accounts, scripts to manage the tangle, scripts to manage the scripts.

    Flashing and installing Ubuntu took an hour. I uncovered a bug where USB Sata connection install doesn’t work with LUKS FDE. To give you an idea of why my ultra complex setup slows me down, lol.

    I’ve dual booted on and off for 15 years (I unknowingly installed everything from source back then!) but with my first child coming I’ve been reconsidering my values and made the full switch to FOSS. Also dual booting Qubes OS for a while, for fun.

    I chose Ubuntu because I’m into Stable Diffusion AI and have an NVIDIA GPU, I’m time constrained and Ubuntu “just works” but I do plan to hop onto Debian/Gnome when I’m more settled. I use no other Ubuntu functionality. This will shock you but I prefer simplicity. Lol.


  • That’s a very negative and unproductive subreddit, one of the reasons I left Reddit. I also felt that way at one point.

    Your statement is verifiably false. Women’s hormones shift during and after pregnancy, and reduction (or sometimes increase) in libido is natural. Breastfeeding is well known for reducing, it also acts like birth control. OTC Birth control also commonly reduces libido. Physically sex is difficult during pregnancy.

    My pregnant wife and I have dealt with this by learning other ways to show affection, a lot of communication, and setting clear boundaries. It’s a challenge we were ready to tackle, so no regrets or incel/deadbedroom feelings here, just wholesome family love. But yes the shift is difficult at times. I had a very high libido before and it dropped off a cliff for the first time in my life. Actually it’s been a relief.





  • Our kid is not quite here but the parenting has already begun. My wife’s sleep is very disrupted due to the incessant kicking, and in turn mine. Sex has been physically impossible for many months and her hormones make it mentally impossible. She’s too tired to do many chores so my load has doubled.

    But we are happy, I’m crying tears of joy many times a day, never felt it before. If anything I feel more confident in our relationship, we find ways to be sweet to each other. This is what we wanted and no surprises here. We did the work, therapy, and talked about it and planned constantly.

    We were once like that though, communication is a skill that we learned the hard way. If you’re feeling unsure, please don’t have children (yet!). The parenting preparation can take years, don’t rush it.











  • It starts with “I’m married to a Democrat, so I’m reasonable” but then “sorry guys let me get my dog’s shock collar, she’s eating the cat food again”. Funny how over half of my Republican coworkers shock their dogs and hit their kids in the past, literally don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.