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All spam should be responded to in kind.
WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
We can do that?
Do I just take it to the post office?
No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won’t deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.
Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.
I’ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.
You’d just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.
If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit
Even better, print some anti-empire propaganda.
Give the low-level employee some ideas to quit giving their life to the empire.
Pro-union literature
That is a Fight Club level idea. Radicalize the data entry workers.
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People don’t take those jobs as a choice.
USPS is using slave labor?!
Credit card companies are. USPS doesn’t have data entry people who would open the package.
It wouldn’t surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.
This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight… Please don’t do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility…
This … feels like you are telling me to go for it.
Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it’s just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it’s a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.
absolute legend :D
For putting some crap in a box, taping on a flyer, and then lying on the internet?
You don’t actually think this happened, do you? Why would the post office ship a heavy package for free just because a no postage needed flyer is stuck to it?
Condescending dweeb refuses to allow people to enjoy a funny story.
I’m sorry that it came off as condescending. Truly, that was not the intent. Tone is difficult over text, but I was more going for an incredulous sarcasm that beckoned critical thinking.
incredulous sarcasm that beckoned critical thinking.
That would be where the condescending tone comes from. If you don’t want to come off as condescending, don’t do that.
Also weirdly accepts the premise of the story then calls it a lie. Like at least have some narrative cohesion in your snark, people, it’s not hard.
USPS got so pissed at me for just leaving my junk mail in the box. I told them over and over I didn’t need trash delivered to my place. In the end, I just stopped all USPS deliveries. I had nothing of importance coming in through the mail.
That’s an option?
Yeah, it got so bad I was worried I was going to rage on the delivery driver (for what it’s worth, I support the USPS and have not heard a legitimate argument about why it should be stopped. But fucking junk mail. I know it accounts for a chunk of their income, there has got to be a better way. Like making the price of every single piece of junk mail that is delivered to me is $10. Something. Cut out junk mail and only have delivery 4 days a week. Not consecutively.
But yeah, to get back to your question. I talked to the Postmaster at the local Post Office and they had me write and sign a piece of paper saying,“I DON’T WANT THIS SHIT NO MORE!”. The trouble it caused in my life was absolutely dwarfed by the positive of not having to deal with that shit anymore.
You just have to move to a place where the post office is a disaster and you won’t get mail anymore. Northern new Mexico, for one.
No, stopping all USPS deliveries is not an option. They can usually hold mail for up to 30 days if you apply for it, but I think this even varies by local office.
You can, however, refuse some mail. This is a manual process. You can also apply to be removed from mailing lists, which is almost certainly what the other poster did.
ETA: instead of, or at least in addition to downvoting me could you comment to correct me?
I tried to stop all deliveries and they said I could not. There’s even a criminal penalty for removing your own mailbox
There is no reason to ever mail me anything. When I order a package I have it delivered to a business
It wasn’t too long ago that I did it. Maybe 8-10 years ago. I realized nothing I needed came in the mail, so I just stopped checking. At one point the postman literally just took all the junk mail and dumped it on my front step. I raised holy hell with the post office about littering, after jamming it all back into the outgoing mail. I think the way the postmaster did it, instead of dealing with my assholeness, was just setting my residence to unoccupied in or something along those lines. Spam, of all sorts (aside from Spam musubi) is just a fucking drag. Like all marketing and advertising.
Postal Employee: “May I help you?”
Kramer: “Yeah, I’d like to cancel my mail.”
Postal Employee: “Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?”
Kramer: “Oh, no, no. I don’t think you get me. I want out, permanently.”
Lol. I just stick it back into the outgoing mail slot if they dont listen to me. My box is clearly marked with 'no junk mail’s signage.
I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I’d just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.
“small boulder” just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀
I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.
Don’t use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.
Would take a little bit of doing, but rig the box flaps to a platform inside the box, then pour all the glitter on that, so that opening the box raises the platform and dumps all the glitter.
Rather than a platform, I’ve been wondering if you could rig it so opening the box opens some holes on the bottom, so they think they dodged the worst of it, pick it up to dispose of it and get a desk full from underneath.
Rock, and 5000 live cockroaches
Steady on Satan, they’re only a credit card company! They’re bad, but not that bad!
Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don’t control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.
nah doesnt just piss them off… it now confettis the mailroom which guarantees a janitors employment. this is how you generate low skill labor jobs! its a win win.
That’s a fair observation, but I assume they’re trained to deal with suspicious packages safely, and that stuff will get transfered throughout the whole building and make everyone’s lives that bit more ‘special’. It’ll still hit the bottom line too.
But they also work for the bad company, so my sympathy is limited. Not super limited, else I wouldn’t point out that they’re inevitably hourly employees, and a long day cleaning glitter creates an annoying backlog that creates even more overtime.
Punishing the worker for working for spammers, but also putting money in their pocket at the cost of the people making choices.Biggest issue is the cost of glitter. Easier to get dirt or rocks.
So credit card issuers are bad now?
There’s too much to keep track of these days.
They’re mostly banks, right? Were they ever good?
“these days”? I take it you weren’t paying attention during the whole “explorative credit” thing? We had to make the consumer financial protection bureau to, amongst other things, make them be a little less shitty? The bureau they’ve been desperately trying to get dismantled because it moderately limits their profits?
Have they ever been better than “kinda bad” at best?
Anyway, I didn’t specifically decry credit issuers. I implied that spammers are shitty, which I stand by and is far from a new sentiment.
Friendly reminder.
Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.
Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.
Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.
If you’re concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn’t look “mass produced” to the recipient.
This wouldn’t work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.
A lot of reply paid stuff for large corporations is calculated on weight not on item count, depending on the sorting system used by the country/region in question so this might work sometimes but it depends on a lot of variables.
You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.
You’d just be annoying some data entry employee.
Wasting their time is wasting their money.
Plus it helps the post office!
Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?
Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can’t be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?
I sell abdominal gas collection catheters btw
Doesn’t help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being “just annoying” is probably the safest bet.
I used to send them coupons.
I once sent a thick telephone book with “Return to Sender - not at this address” on it after receiving mail addressed the previous house owner. This was after receiving their junk mail over several years and returning it with the same message scribbled on the envelope. This tactic finally worked and stopped the junk mail coming.
This must’ve been a long time ago. Otherwise where would you find a phone book, let alone a thick one.
Check the barcode on the bottom and make sure it doesn’t have your information in it.
What can they do? Send you more junk mail?
Why? I don’t care if they know I sent it. Maybe they’ll be less likely to fuck with me any more.
Of course I haven’t checked my mail since 2020 when I got a stimulus check. I don’t even have an ID showing my address anymore. It’s still my old house
This is how we save the USPS.
I could be wrong but I think these are prepaid, not paid on delivery…
These are indeed paid on delivery.
Reminds me of a webcomic I used to read where the mad scientistesque physics student realized he could use the lead bricks he’d been using to prop open doors for exactly this purpose.
That’s actually a large boulder; it’s just the size of a small boulder.
We won’t ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.
Got any Carlos?
I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
